Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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