I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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