How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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