If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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