she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
