So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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