i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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