is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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