you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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