Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
time to smoke my breakfast
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
