How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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