I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
