know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
