bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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