i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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