I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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