she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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