even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
