I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
