Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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