Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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