i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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