And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
