I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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