the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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