Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
