called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
