I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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