I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
