Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is wine microwaveable?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
