I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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