that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
