So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
There are leaves in my underwear?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
