So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Floor bacon is actually really good
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
