can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
