Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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