your room smells of hookers.
And success
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize