Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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