Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
