yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
