brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
