I need to stop coming to work sober
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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