My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
