This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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