If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
