So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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