I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize