Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
