i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
