How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
