I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
