How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
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I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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