Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
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I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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