dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
