help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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