It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
