He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
