i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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