After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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