Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
