I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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