he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
