How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
wow bdsm is so cute
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
