i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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