So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
