that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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