Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
